hαkunα mαtαtα . ♡

how to be a heartbreaker by marina and the diamonds is literally my life right now.
 
but yeah. this week was amazing.
 
monday - algebra eoc. it stressed me out a ton, but i'm honestly not worried about it anymore. i feel like i did really good and that's all that matters.
 
tuesday - average day really. except in my eighth period, we had my favorite sub and instead of working on egg drop stuff, he took selfies with us and let us run around the school.
 
wednesday - this was honestly the only bad - ish day i had all week. my crush aka my best friend of three years told me he likes my ex best friend. yeah. other than that my day was great.
 
thursday - everything about thursday was perfect. i don't know what it was. it was just really fun. probably because i was in a really good mood. idk.
 
friday - FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY. loljk. um, i survived level two of the egg drop so now i don't have to do a report about something science related. yay. i saw one of my old really good friends today when he came to my class to volunteer for the egg drop and it was really awkward. we haven't really talked in like a year, so. yeah. and then in guitar, i have to sit between my ex and the guy i talked about on wednesday's description now. the funniest part of it is that my ex really hates the guy i like now, since we're so close and i never even liked him, tbh. aaaaaand i won my last softball game of the season.
 
so yeah.
 
i'll update "i want crazy" sometime this weekend. i'm just having writer's block. haha.
 
someone message me?
 
xoxoxo.

but it's way too hot in florida for this.
i'm gonna post another one later once i get on my computer of my summer emblem3 inspired outfits. (:
 
old draft by the way, haha.

so i have my 8th grade graduation awards ceremony on the 28th, and i need a dress to wear.
 
i have this one, which i wore to a party in january. i just wanted your opinions on it.
 
do you think it's too formal for this?
do you like the dress?
what kind of shoes should i wear with it?
etc.
 
i always have the option of buying a new dress, but since i already had this one, and i've only worn it one night, i figured i should re - use it and get some use out of it.
 
picture one - the front of the dress
picture two - close up of the shoulder rhinestone detail
picture three - the back of the dress
 
thanks guys!
 
xoxoxo

thank you laraine and kristy for creating the three most perfect children on the planet. love youuuuu.

beauty and a beat - justin bieber
better together - jack johnson
black and white - drew chadwick
boyfriend (acoustic) - justin bieber
can't hold us - macklemore
chloe - emblem3
come and get it - selena gomez
cruise - florida georgia line
dear maria - all time low
drunk - ed sheeran
fall for you (cover) - keaton stromberg
give me love - ed sheeran
grind on - emblem3
heart attack - demi lovato
heaven awaits - drew chadwick
how to be a heartbreaker - marina and the diamonds
how to save a life - the fray
i love it - icona pop
i'm different - 2 chainz
indigo - emblem3
i want crazy - hunter hayes
jaiden - drew chadwick
just for one day - emblem3
mirrors - justin timberlake
my songs know what you did in the dark - fall out boy ft 2 chainz
niggas in paris - jay z ft kanye west
no interruption - hoodie allen
not your fool - wesley stromberg
oath - cher lloyd
pour it up - rihanna
really don't care - demi lovato ft cher lloyd
riptide - emblem3
say what you mean - emblem3
say what you mean - we the kings
small town - hoodie allen
something else - drew chadwick
stranger - drew chadwick
suit and tie - justin timberlake
sunset blvd - emblem3
super beach kids - cody simpson
super rich kids - frank ocean
take care - drake ft rihanna
the way - ariana grande
#thatPOWER - will . i . am ft justin bieber
thinking about you - frank ocean
time of your life - kid ink
thought of her - keaton stromberg
thought of you - justin bieber
troublemaker - olly murs
wild for the night - A$AP rocky ft skrillex and birdy nam nam
you need me i don't need you - ed sheeran
zuni song - keaton stromberg
 
i'll eventually add more, but this is my summer playlist so far. (:
 
* side - note ; it should be illegal for someone to be as perfect as wesley stromberg. just saying.

so my dad and i just spent an hour listening to emblem3 together and he's been raving about how talented they are and how he respects them as artists. i've gotten my mom, dad, and brother into the emblem3 fandom and one of my best friends. i seriously feel so accomplished. idk why.
 
* side note - i'll probably base my outfit tomorrow around this one. beanie, tank top, shorts, converse / vans. my usual.
 
but yeah.
i love emblem3.
and keaton is mine.
 
byeee.
 
xoxoxo.

two weeks passed by, and keaton and i still hadn't told wesley about the two of us, even through the endless days and nights we spent together. but tonight was the night. we had planned for the good and the bad. hopefully, wes would be happy for us and not let it ruin our still developing friendship. but it might take a miracle for that. it sounds kind of harsh, but we were really planning on him to freak out and never speak to either of us again. no, we didn't want it to happen, but knowing wesley, it probably would.
 
"guys, you ready?" i yelled from downstairs, sitting on the couch with the guys band mate and best friend, drew. we had told drew about our little relationship two days after and he had kept it from wes this long. that's why i loved drew so much. he was the most trustworthy person i knew, right next to keaton. i could tell the two of them anything and i know it would never leave their lips again.
 
"stop rushing me. it takes a lot of work to look this good," keaton replied, with a laugh coming from his room and stepping out onto the staircase.
 
keaton was right. he was absolutely flawless. he had a burgundy beanie pulled down over his medium length curls and matching jeans - then i noticed his shirt. "you're wearing the cat shirt, again?" i asked, rolling my eyes.
 
"i can't help it, it's adorable ash. you have great taste in clothes," he said, taking the last step down the stairs and walking over to me, sneaking a quick peck onto my lips before wes came down.
 
just as keaton pulled away from me, wesley came around the corner. close one. that one would've been fun explaining. "ya'll ready to go?" i asked, glancing around at all three of them.
 
"yep," they all replied in unison.
 
we were all going to take a walk on the beach and then going to dinner on the boardwalk. the perks of my boyfriend having a beach house.
 
- - -
 
on the walk back to the house, i realized we had completely forgotten the main purpose of the entire night. i have keats the signal and we both stopped in wesley's tracks, turning around to face him.
 
"wes, we really really need to talk to you about something," keaton started.
 
"then shoot it at me," he said, shrugging his shoulders a little.
 
"so me and ash have kind of been secretly dating behind your back for the past two weeks and we were scared to know what you're reaction was so i asked her not to tell you and i just felt like this was going on too long behind your back," keaton admitted, his words all jumbling up together as he talked.
 
wes let out a laugh, "you're kidding right? you act like i didn't already know."
 
keaton and i raised an eyebrow. "so, you don't think i hear your little late night phone calls with each other? and i don't see you two sneaking around all the time? and i don't - "
 
"we get it wes. so, you don't care if we're together?" i asked, glancing over at keaton and then back up at wes.
 
"of course i care. but what can i do about it? you're happy and that's all that really matters," he said, shrugging a little, biting his lip and staring out at the ocean, not making any kind of eye contact with me or keaton. he was obviously really upset, but he took pain really easily and didn't let it show. but i had learned how to tell.
 
i walked over next to wesley, wrapping my arms around him, and hugging him tightly. "its okay, wes. remember what i told you that morning? this is all for the best," i whispered softly, looking up at him.
 
he hugged me tightly, not wanting to let go. he took in a deep breath and wiped a tear from his cheek.
 
"wesley stromberg, are you /crying/?" i asked, smiling a little and pulling away from our hug.
 
"nah, its just allergies," he said, letting out a small laugh.
 
"guys, can you give us a minute?" i asked, glancing over at keaton and drew, who nodded and started to jog down the beach a little ways. i grabbed onto wes' hand, sitting down on the sand and pulling him down next to me. "wes, tell me what's wrong? you know you can trust me with anything."
 
"ash, its just that you were the first girl i really cared about and wasn't just using to say i had a girlfriend. and now i have to see you messing around with my little brother. it just doesn't feel right that that isn't me anymore, you know?" he wiped a few more tears from his eyes and looked right into my eyes.
 
"i know exactly how you feel wes. it's gonna take some getting used to, for me and for you. but hey, we're doing this together." i said, starting to tear up too.
 
after a few moments of silence and us letting out all of our tears, wes finally spoke up. "you wanna get back up there now? i can call some people over and we can have a little party like old times," he said with a smile.
 
"sounds good to me," i nodded.
 
maybe keaton wasn't exactly what i had really wanted. maybe what i needed was right in front of me all along.

"just go home wesley," i said softly before he could say anything. i wasn't in the mood for him to try to win me back over. we've had fights before and he always did this. but i wasn't falling back into his trap.
 
"ashlynn, just listen to what i have to say. please," he begged.
 
"okay. you've got ten minutes. then you're leaving," i said, leading him inside and upstairs to my bedroom, hoping he wouldn't notice keaton sitting on the couch. i sat down on my bed and he tried sitting next to me but resisted and stood with his back leaning against the back of the door.
 
"ash, i know i was a jerk last night. i took it too far. i was just scared i guess. i know you have feelings for keaton. it's pretty obvious. and he really likes you. and i'm scared to death of losing you," he couldn't even look at me the entire time he talked. he just stared at the floor, pausing between sentences. "when i walked in and saw you two together, it broke my heart. because i love you, ashlynn. you're the best thing that's ever happened to me and i can't imagine my life without you. i know you probably won't forgive me, but i just needed to put that out there," he took a deep breath and started to reach for the door handle.
 
"wes, wait," i said, standing up and walking towards him. "i really really love you. but i'm tired of our fighting all the time. maybe it's best for us just to be friends for a while. if you still haven't moved on, maybe we can try this again," i said, biting my lip softly.
 
"that sounds good to me," he said with a small smile. he bent down and kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging me tightly. "one last time, just because."
 
"you forgot one thing," i smirked a little, reaching up and kissing him softly on the lips. "i needed that as much as you did."
 
we walked back downstairs, and keaton almost choked on his cereal seeing us together. "you two are back together already?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
 
"nope, we've decided to just be friends," wesley said with a reassuring nod.
 
"ash, can i talk to you in the kitchen really quick?" keaton asked.
 
once we were in the kitchen, keaton placed his bowl in the sink and looked over at me. "so you two are officially done?"
"yeah, pretty much."
"so you're back on the market?"
"yes sir."
"this might be a little soon but would you uh consider maybe, possibly - "
 
"just spit it out, keats." i already knew what was coming. butterflies formed in my stomach just at the thought of it.
 
"would you like to maybe be my girlfriend?" he asked. i could tell he was a little uncomfortable. he had only asked out two other girls in his life - one over text and one he had only asked out for a dare.
 
"of course i would, mr stromberg." i smiled softly.
 
"great, ms nichols," he said, pecking me on the cheek softly before leading me back out to the living room, where wes was still sitting on the couch.

wesley and i were walked in hand along the beach, looking out at the ocean. there were a few families gathered farther down the beach, still in our view. a surfer or two were riding the waves that were forming as other crashed into the shore. the cloudless sky showcased the sun. everything about being on the beach made me happy. everything except the fact that i still feel guilty about liking keaton.
 
at the thought of that, wesley led me a little farther up onto the beach and sat down, pulling me onto his lap. "ash, i really needed to talk to you. just us," he said, letting out a small, almost silent sigh.
 
"then talk," i said, not trying to sound like a smart ass, even though it probably came out that way.
 
he let out a deep breath, looking down at the sand before talking. "you know i'm not an idiot right?"
 
"of course not." a knot was starting to form in my stomach. i knew this was about keaton. what else would he be talking about?
 
"it kind of seems like you think i am. you know i notice you and keaton flirting all the time. if you don't want to be with me, just tell me."
 
at that, i lost it. "wes, i love you. a ton. and i can't help that me and keaton are so close. maybe i do a have a small amount of feelings for him. but their nothing like the feelings i have for you." i looked over at him, following his gaze to the sand.
 
wes let out another sigh. this time, i wasn't sure if it a sigh or relief or sadness. "i love you, ashlynn marie nichols. i really do," he said, grinning softly and softly planted his lips onto mine.
 
so, i'll take that as the first option.
 
we spent another hour or so at the beach, talking and laughing, but mainly kissing. wes laughed, tackling me to the sand and pinning my wrists down with his strong grip. he pecked me quickly on the nose and stared down at me. "we should probably go inside soon. if you're catching my drift," he said with a wink.
 
"oh, i know what you're getting at wesley. and it's not gonna work," i said with a smirk. "you're gonna have to catch me first." i pulled myself from his hands, sprinting as fast as i could back up to their beach house. i turned around as i got back to the back door, noticing that he had stopped running a couple hundred feet back. it was adorable how fast he got winded.
 
keaton was sitting in the kitchen, staring at me as i walked back in through the back door. "have fun?" he asked, walking over to me and picking me up and setting me on top of the counter.
 
i nodded and looked down at him. "you know you're really short, right?" i giggled, watching as he rolled his eyes.
 
"you're just really tall," he said, making an awful attempt at making fun of me. after a few moments of silence, he finally spoke up. "ash, i know you're dating my brother and all, but uh - do you have feelings for me too? at all?"
 
damn it. i knew it was coming sooner or later. and i couldn't just leave him hanging. "that depends," i said with a small smirk.
 
"on what?"
 
"if you have feelings for me too." which he obviously did.
 
"well, you're in luck. because i happen to have a lot of feelings for you too."
 
before i knew it, his lips were attached to mine. "ash, i'm gonn-" wes said, walking in back door, his jaw dropping at the sight of me and keaton. i pulled back quickly and turned to look at wes. "i swear, this isn't how it looks. he kissed me first, it was a mistake." i practically screamed, tears falling from my eyes.
 
"wes, it's my fault, i swear. ash didn't do anything. i kissed her," keaton interrupted.
 
"save it. i can't believe you ashlynn. i spent two years with you and you do this to me? thanks. a lot. and you know what, actually, i can believe you. we're done." wes said, running upstairs to his room. "have fun with keaton." he said, before slamming his bedroom door.
 
- - -
 
the next thing i remember was waking up back at my house. i rolled out of bed and looked into the mirror. my naturally wavy hair was in a messy braid and my makeup was off and my face was still a little red. i brushed my teeth and rinsed off my face before walking into the living room, where keaton was already awake.
 
"good morning, sleepy head," he said, looking up from his breakfast.
 
"when did you get here?" i asked, walking over and sitting next to him on the couch.
 
"i brought you home last night and you said i could crash on the couch since wes will probably never speak to me again," he said, with a small nod.
 
"i'm sorry, keats," i said, rubbing my eyes.
 
"sorry for what? its not your fault. i made a stupid mistake," he said.
 
i heard a small knock on the door and walked over to open it. it was wes.

i knocked softly on wesley's door, wishing that keaton wouldn't open the door. why am i even falling for keaton? i'm in love with his brother. or so i thought i was. if i really loved wes, i would have never fallen for keaton, right?
 
i guess i didn't wish enough, because a few seconds after i knocked, keaton opened the door, smiling widely when he saw that it was me.
 
"hey keaton" i smiled, stepping inside, as he closed the door behind me.
 
"hi there, ash," he said, grabbing me into a small hug. we had always hugged after we greeted each other. even before wes and i started dating. it was just us. and we weren't going to just stop.
 
"so, ash, i uh - " keaton was cut off by wes coming down the stairs. "i thought i heard you down here," he said grinning a bit. he made his way down the stairs, walking over to me and kissing me softly on top of the head. i could've sworn i saw keaton out of the corner of my eye rolling his eyes.
 
"so, uh, wes, where are we going?" i asked, looking up at him, trying to fake a small smile.
 
"i was thinking we could stay here and have a little movie marathon and then we might walk down on the beach some. if that's alright with you," he said, wrapping his strong arm across my shoulder.
 
"sounds good to me," i smiled, starting towards the living room and curling up into my usual spot on the stromberg's couch. "keats, can you make me some popcorn pleeeeeease?" i asked, faking a pout and puppy dog eyes.
 
"of course, ashlynn. would you like anything else with that?" he asked me in a british accent, trying to act official i guess, because he never calls me by my full name.
 
wes pulled out a stack of movies, setting them down on the table in front of me. "chose a scary movie, a disney movie, comedy, and i've already put mean girls in for you," he said, flicking me that gorgeous smile of his.
 
i pulled paranormal activity, the lion king, and grown ups from the stack and wesley grabbed them up from the table, setting them next to the tv.
 
keaton came back into the room, carrying a bowl of popcorn, some candy and three drinks. "i knew you'd chose those movies," he smirked, setting the snacks down on the table.
 
"why three drinks?" wes asked, looking over at keaton and raising an eyebrow. "because you're not staying here."
 
"wesley, stop. he can stay here. he's not hurting anything," i snapped, glancing over at keaton and then back at wes.
 
"fine. but he sits in the recliner." wes said, grabbing the remote and sitting down on the couch next to me, and pulling me closer to him by placing his arm across my shoulders.
 
- - -
 
i honestly don't think i would have remembered any of the movies if i hadn't already seen them a million times. because wes spent seventy - five percent of the time with his lips crashed into mine. the other twenty - five percent of the time, i practically had to pry him off of me.
 
"wes, can we take that walk now? i'm kind of tired of sitting here. we can finish the other two movies later," i said, hoping to give keaton some time to himself since wesley obviously wouldn't let him tag along with us.
 
"sure babe," he said, standing up and stretching, reaching for my hand, helping me up off of the couch.
 
- - - - - - - - - -
 
i hope that was okay for a first chapter. i have a little bit of drama coming up soon.